If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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