Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.

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(210): View more from Texas

she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?

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(315): View more from New York

apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.

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(208): View more from Idaho

New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms

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(979): View more from Texas

Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever

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