You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
