I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
