32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
