did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
