I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
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