I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
