How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
