Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I cut my penus on the lid.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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