he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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