There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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