I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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