I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
