From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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