btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My pussy is not your playground.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
