He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
