I just cut my nipple shaving
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
