Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
