im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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