So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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