she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
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He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
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I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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