Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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