therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
