she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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