bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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