If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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