Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
