i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
