i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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