The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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