I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Dicks are not precious.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
