i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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