You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Someone signed my nipple.
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