just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
