I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
oh god the rape fog is back!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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