you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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