I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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