like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize