i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
