let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize