Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
