Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
