My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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