I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Randomize
