I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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