the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
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