i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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