all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
