I accidentally burped into my bong.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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