It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
