Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize