Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
