I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
