It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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