well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
