Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
