Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
All I want is dick and wine.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
