ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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