I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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