i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
