I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
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You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
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I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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