"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
