the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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