im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
