ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize