i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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