Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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